Friday, August 31, 2012

Battle

The last month has been a battle.

A battle between love and hate, care and frustration, anxiety and sleep, career and money, loss and relief, overwhelmed and aware, working and worrying, and health and stress.

I've been close to quitting and on the brink of, if not already, crying.

There has been no stride, only plodding. Pulling backwards and running away have been ever so very present.

Right before I went to sleep last night I heard one of my favorite songs. This song holds so much meaning for my family...

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Black-bird fly
Black-bird fly, into the light of a dark black night

Black-bird fly
Black-bird fly, into the light of a dark black night

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/paul+mccartney/blackbird_20105542.html

I'm taking the steps I need to arise and find the light in this dark black night... but it has taken me a while to admit it and allow my pride to fall.

This three day weekend could not have been timed more perfectly. I am so grateful for the opportunity to put my feet up, catch-up on sleep, relax with Jim(!) and have one extra day to prepare for the week ahead.


3 comments:

  1. You are so honest in your posts. You are also deeply loved.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Girl, I hear you. Although I haven't had the health issues or any where near the same levels of grief and loss as you, I can certainly resonate with the emotional turmoil and feelings of overload! I'm entering my third week in the public school system and it is definitely a lot to process. Thank you for your continual optimism in the midst of trials and tribulations. It truly is an encouragement. Sending love and hugs your way! <3
    ~Kuhfuss

    ReplyDelete