Saturday, August 11, 2012

If I could use one word...

If I could use just one word to describe this week it would be buried. No, perhaps drowning would be a better word. No, no words are strong enough to convey the burdens, hurting, and terror that have been placed on my heart this week.

I have been close to quitting, have cried every day, and have not able to sleep.

Family members (notice the "s".... there are THREE) who are in the hospital. Futures unknown, all battling for their lives in one way or another.

New job, faculty, principal, colleagues, pressures, classroom.

We also found out that Jim will be gone for the first three months of rotations! Perhaps not even able to come home on weekends... it depends on his attending.

Worst week of my life.

Yesterday the entire county gathered for an "All-County Opening Ceremony" that we have every year. This year we had the BEST speaker ever. His name was Brett Leake and he is a comedian. He has muscular dystrophy and he stands, yes stands, in his wheelchair to give his talks. His whole thing was turning obstacles into positive lights. Frankly, there are some negative things that happen that are quite impossible to put in positive lights, but he made me laugh. He made me want to turn my "no" into a "yes."

So, here are the positives:
- Each family member is safe, in good hands, and in the best place for their current situation. This is the most important of the whole list.
- Jim passed his board exam!!!!! :)
- I'm about to be blessed with teaching 22 third graders.
- Yesterday I saw all of my past coworkers who loved and cared for me during the last year's debacle. Hugs, smiles, and believing in me... did my heart so much good. (Thank you Vicki, Wanda, Kiah, Dave, Brad, & Margaret!)
- A miracle was worked and my neck has been healed!
- I have a doctor's appointment this week to receive a stint for my mouth to correct my TMJ! Goodbye (hopefully) jaw problems!
- I have taught for 3 years and have become a somewhat "seasoned" teacher. I CAN do this.
- I have amazing teachers in my family who always have good advice or a creative idea (Thank you Mom, Dad, Marianne, & Kim!)
- Today I slept until 10:30!
- I can work off some of my stress through exercising (FINALLY!) with Jim & Leif.
- I have a wonderful, supportive husband.

The rain's going to fall, this I know.

We'll make it through together.


  1. ooph... "worst week of my life". Realizing that takes the wind out of my sail. I'm so busy gasping for air, that it didn't occur to me that yes, this is the worst week of my life.

    "For everything there is a season..." soon this season will be over and that gives me strength to endure.

    However, I'm SO happy about your neck and about Jim (though I was 100% sure he would pass).

    Those are 22 lucky ducky students!

  2. I like Julie's reference to "for everything there is a season." A season for all who are suffering and for us to endure. Our family is actually not fragmenting in this time of crisis but pulling together. Peace to all...