Butterfly Wonder

Parent's Morning Out (PMO) has been such a good thing for Ian. He runs laughing into the room, steals a hug from one of the teachers, and then rushes to choose what he'll play with first. They send super creative and process-oriented crafts home with him and he beams as he points to the fridge and tells me "Ian painted dat." Why, yes you did!

Today I received these pictures with the blurb below and my heart leapt, learning that he's able to stop and enjoy and notice the small wonders of the world, while at school. I'm so grateful to the three women who runs this program for giving me such peace of mind while Ian's away from me for those six hours a week.

"The children enjoyed watching a Monarch butterfly today. The church planted milkweed for the Monarchs in the spring and there were lots of caterpillars. It must have been drying it wings and couldn't fly. We watched it open and close it's wings. The butterfly crawled on a leaf and we moved it to a safe and sunny spot. It was gone when I left so must have flown away. Yeah."

I just love that he's on his belly.

Iris & Ian, the red-headed duo.

Ian "Work"

I didn't even think to take a first
day of school picture! So frazzled.

This week held a major first for our family. It marked the first week that Ian would spend a few hours away from home and in a "school" setting. A little more than a week before he started, I received an email stating that we had moved off the waiting list. Until then, I thought he wouldn't have a spot until at least January.

Even though I had a week to mentally prepare, I wasn't quite prepared for the emotions that would kick in on that very first day. Sure, he's spent time in other people's care before. Normally it's friends or babysitters who have been hired to watch children while the mamas are in MOPS, etc. For some reason this was a very different feel.

Ian and I had discussed how he would be going to "school" and that he would see Iris and lots of other children and people. We talked about things that he'd be doing while he was there... playing with toys, reading books, singing songs, and going on the playground. He was prepared.

Thanks, Jess, for snapping this picture!

As we walked in the door of the classroom, a picture of Ian as a newborn, swaddled and in my arms enveloped me. A baby who was incredibly dependent and needed me for it's nourishment and comfort. I snapped back out of it and into the classroom. I watched as my 23 month old held my hand, granted, but walked into the room with confidence. He stood there taking everything in and then listened to each of my directions as I explained the steps that I needed to take (label his diaper, place his sippy cup in the bin) and then wash his hands at the sink, as I stood by his side.

When finished washing hands, he stepped down from the stool. I asked if he would like play and he said, "No." Fair enough. Would you like to play with the trains? "Yes." We walked to the trains and I asked if I could give him a kiss, which he obliged, and then I said goodbye. He didn't watch me go. He was still taking everything in around him.

This boy was so far removed from the boy swaddled in my arms. This boy understands that he is secure and loved. And this boy willingly separated and enjoyed a few hours of "school."

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I choked up and tears brimmed in my eyes. What a remarkable lad we have raised so far. I'm in awe of him daily.

Without a good plan for what to do during my three hours without Ian, I decided to make it a truly sentimental morning. I went to Target, bought a journal for our new baby, and sat in the Starbucks and wrote Ian a four page letter. I bawled through the whole thing. Tears of joy, mostly. But also tears of incredulousness at the thought that almost two years have already passed us by. We are just so crazy-in-love with this kid.

Then I sat and wrote our new baby the first letter in his/her journal. The time couldn't have been better spent.

I rushed through the grocery store getting a few essentials before the excitement of getting Ian overtook me. When I got there they said he'd enjoyed himself, continuing to take it all in, and really enjoyed the sand box outside. His only hiccup was when our friend Chris came to pick Iris up early. Ian ran and gave Chris a big hug and then welled up with tears after he left. Fortunately it sounded like the teachers handled it beautifully and gave him the task of putting away the kids' water bottles. He loves to help and sort.

Reunited at last!! We both survived the first day. I shed WAY, WAY more tears, I'm sure. I even bawled telling Jim about it during Ian's nap. By now he's had two days and I did far better the second day. The teachers said that he was a champ and had a great time.

Later on the first day, Ian asked where Jim was. I told him he was at work. Ian responded quickly by saying, "Ian work," sticking his chin up slightly with pride. We've had a similar conversation a couple of times since. It's the cutest.

It's going to be a good year! Ian loves to be social and I think this will be really good for him. I will be productive during the time that he's gone to ensure that I am more present during the time we are together. And, by the time our baby arrives, Ian will be so comfortable there that it will be "his place." The new baby and I will have a few hours twice a week to do errands or bond. As a family, we are really excited about this opportunity and so grateful that Ian transitioned well.

Here's to a new beginning!

If I could use one word...

If I could use just one word to describe this week it would be buried. No, perhaps drowning would be a better word. No, no words are strong enough to convey the burdens, hurting, and terror that have been placed on my heart this week.

I have been close to quitting, have cried every day, and have not able to sleep.

Family members (notice the "s".... there are THREE) who are in the hospital. Futures unknown, all battling for their lives in one way or another.

New job, faculty, principal, colleagues, pressures, classroom.

We also found out that Jim will be gone for the first three months of rotations! Perhaps not even able to come home on weekends... it depends on his attending.

Worst week of my life.

Yesterday the entire county gathered for an "All-County Opening Ceremony" that we have every year. This year we had the BEST speaker ever. His name was Brett Leake and he is a comedian. He has muscular dystrophy and he stands, yes stands, in his wheelchair to give his talks. His whole thing was turning obstacles into positive lights. Frankly, there are some negative things that happen that are quite impossible to put in positive lights, but he made me laugh. He made me want to turn my "no" into a "yes."

So, here are the positives:
- Each family member is safe, in good hands, and in the best place for their current situation. This is the most important of the whole list.
- Jim passed his board exam!!!!! :)
- I'm about to be blessed with teaching 22 third graders.
- Yesterday I saw all of my past coworkers who loved and cared for me during the last year's debacle. Hugs, smiles, and believing in me... did my heart so much good. (Thank you Vicki, Wanda, Kiah, Dave, Brad, & Margaret!)
- A miracle was worked and my neck has been healed!
- I have a doctor's appointment this week to receive a stint for my mouth to correct my TMJ! Goodbye (hopefully) jaw problems!
- I have taught for 3 years and have become a somewhat "seasoned" teacher. I CAN do this.
- I have amazing teachers in my family who always have good advice or a creative idea (Thank you Mom, Dad, Marianne, & Kim!)
- Today I slept until 10:30!
- I can work off some of my stress through exercising (FINALLY!) with Jim & Leif.
- I have a wonderful, supportive husband.

The rain's going to fall, this I know.

We'll make it through together.

Harbor

This week has been quite the whirlwind for me! Let's just say that I've left the comfortable shoreline, fought a few storms, found a new horizon, and am that much stronger for it.

I've been moved from my middle school English position to an elementary school. My heart really lies at the elementary school level and so I am thrilled to be returning to teaching the younger grades! I'm still awaiting the final word on which grade I'll be teaching, but it will be coming in the next week or two.

While washing dishes I was listening to this song on Pandora and I felt it truly portrayed my week. Look it up! For now, here are the lyrics:

"Harbor" by Vienna Teng

We're here where the daylight begins

The fog on the streetlight slowly thins

Water on water's the way

The safety of shoreline fading away

Clarion River, PA

Sail your sea

Meet your storm

All I want is to be your harbor

The light in me

Will guide you home

All I want is to be your harbor

A Bayou in Louisiana

Fear is the brightest of signs

The shape of the boundary you leave behind

So sing all your questions to sleep

The answers are out there in the drowning deep

Kachemak Bay, Alaska

Sail your sea

Meet your storm

All I want is to be your harbor

The light in me

Will guide you home

All I want is to be your harbor

A tributary & waterfall on the Shenandoah River, Virginia

You've got a journey to make

There's your horizon to chase

So go far beyond where we stand

No matter the distance

I'm holding your hand

Sail your sea

Meet your storm

All I want is to be your harbor

The light in me

Will guide you home

All I want is to be your harbor

Maho Bay, St. John in the Virgin Islands

Sail your sea

Meet your storm

All I want is to be your harbor

The light in me

Will guide you home

All I want is to be your harbor

May we all be able to sail our sea, meet our storm, and be guided home to a safe harbor :)

Soap Box: "Bored"

I've never been bored. It's true. I cannot think of a time when those words actually came out of my mouth or have even welled-up in my head. No, there's always something to do, make, clean, learn, read, etc.

And, as a teacher, it drives me crazy to hear the words "I'm bored" come out of a student's mouth. All of my mental power, energy, strength, and passion go into creating meaningful activities for the students. At any one time there are always options for students to do after they have finished another task. "I'm bored" really has no place in my classroom or in my life.

I think I actually, unconsciously, chose the teaching profession because it is an occupation in which you can never be idle, bored, or complacent. It just really doesn't lend itself to a profession where details can go by the wayside... there's always something the prepare, rethink, dissect, and scrap. Not to mention all of the accommodations, differentiated lessons, and meetings that you also have to squeeze into the limited time in your day. Let me tell you, this can also be very draining for this somewhat anal perfectionist. This is why I firmly believe that teachers need their summers.

I once heard that women's minds work almost like a computer screen. We can keep many "windows" open at once and it is hard for us to ex-out of them and focus on one, at any one time. When I heard that, I immediately connected with this metaphor. Yes, how do you keep only one window open?

Last weekend Jim and I drove to see my dad's children's musical, Belle Prater's Boy, and I had a conversation with someone who had an aortic artery dissection. He's a family friend and wanted to chat and compare notes about our similar situations. His, obviously, was much more serious than my own, but we certainly had some similarities. My favorite part of the conversation was when he jested about being told to "take a break," "relax," and "go rest." With a huge smile and a jovial laugh, he explained that it's "tough" to be told to go lie down and take it easy. "Oh, alright. If you say so..." It's too true.

For someone who's used to moving, doing, and scampering all over the place, it's been a huge adjustment for me to take it easy. Jim left for class today (yes, on a Saturday) and asked what I would be doing while he was gone. I responded, "I suppose I'll knit, watch a few of Kelly's movies, grade some quizzes, and play fetch with Leif." But I could also do the breakfast dishes, wash the laundry, mop the kitchen, clean my desk, lesson plan for next week, call a few friends and family members, make an itinerary for our road trip, go to the pharmacy, etc.

Where's the time to be "bored?" I don't get it.

With the rain pelting the roof, I almost feel like it's a sign to just sit, relax, and take it easy. But I don't consider sitting and relaxing to be the same thing as being bored. I almost enjoy this season of my life when I can appreciate sitting back. And I will attempt to keep only one or two windows open, while I'm at it :)

______________________________________________________

On Tuesday my INR was, once again, too low (1.8). So my dose has been increased to the maximum amount of 15 mg/day and I'll go back on Tuesday, May 1st, to see if the level has improved. 

Tardy Earth Day

Yesterday was Earth Day and so I decided to do a little activity with my students about items and how long it takes them to biodegrade. Some of the things were quite shocking to them and to me, even though I've seen these stats year after year.

Before revealing how long it takes for diapers, I asked the students if any of them have siblings who are still in diapers. Many raised their hands and then I asked them how many diapers they go through in a day. Their answers varied from five, ten, twenty, and two packs... somehow I don't think that all of these answers are quite correct.

Well, it takes 450 years for a diaper to biodegrade! WHAT!? HOLY COW! That's a scary and nightmarish thing to ponder.

I am certainly seeing cloth diapers in my future.

Things we attempt to do:

- compost

- carpool

- recycle

- reuse materials for household items/organization

- purchase items that come in recyclable materials

- drive fairly efficient cars

- plan our outings carefully, to avoid extra trips/gas usage

- turn off the lights when they aren't necessary

- reusable tupperware for lunches, etc.

Things that need work:

- my long, hot showers

- making/using homemade, good-for-the-environment cleaners

Strength

So many metaphors about our current lives could be stated for this quote. That is all for today :)

It's That Time of the Year!

Yep, it's that time of the year again. It's a time of balance in the classroom. I've known the students long enough to recognize their limits and push them just a little farther. One look or flick of my fingers or hand can change their actions or behaviors. For some, I know the right words to say to push them to the edge, but also keep them productive and safe.

I love this time of the year. All of the work and effort from fall and winter are finally beginning to bud to display the fruits of the labor. While reading, students stop me to point out the similes & metaphors, or examples of alliteration, personification, onomatopoeia, etc. It's wonderful to have these discussions through the authentic experience of just reading a book together. Sometimes the discussions turn into debates about symbolism and themes... it's incredible.

And it's now that I can finally let down my hair. While reading I sometimes stop and have students fill in the word that comes next on the page (to make sure they're with me & earn silent speedball points). Yesterday I stopped after the word "artificial" and the students were to fill in the word "light." Well, one student wasn't paying attention and said "flavoring!" It was hilarious and I broke into one of those laughs where you begin to cry it's so funny. Whereas earlier in the year I may have skimmed over it and moved on, this time I let the students see my genuine joy at the humor of the situation.

Then today, we had a good laugh when a student was wracking his brain for a word we talked about yesterday- "haunches." When I told him the word he said, "OH YEAH, HAUNCHES!" And two students proceeded to beg me to again show the class how we squat on our "haunches." Once again the class broke into laughter at the fact that kids all around the room were squatting on their haunches.

It's been a joyous time.

Moments that earlier in the year would have taken minutes to get students back on track, now last a short period of time and the students are ready to persevere through the next page, activity, or assignment.

It's this time of the year that I look forward to in August & September. Each year we make it through and then we begin all over again. I think I would enjoy teaching in a school where teachers follow their students throughout a few of the grades. By the time I get to know my students, their passions and risk areas, I have to bid them farewell and start all over again.

For now I'll savor each day because, after all, it is that time of the year!

______________________________________________________________

Jim is home, safe and sound. He had a great time in Honduras! Pictures will be posted eventually. Right now they are all on his computer and he is at a night class from 5:15-9:30 PM. Hello Block 8(board review block)!

Still have soreness in my neck and a light headache; I feel like a broken record. That's why I don't write about it much anymore :)

Have I mentioned that summer starts at the end of May?! Yay!

Our Day Trip to Staunton

Things I loved about Sunday:
- time spent with my parents
- conversations and catch-up about family, perhaps there was a little teasing in jest, too!
- yummy Shenandoah Pizza for lunch
- an INCREDIBLE show (Much Ado About Nothing at Blackfriar's Playhouse... I mean really, can they get any more talented? If you haven't been, you should check them out!)
- walking around the beautiful city of Staunton, Virginia
- a gorgeous, spring-like day
- walking through the glass-blowing store, Sunspots
- getting a DELICIOUS pork tenderloin from my dad (the grill-master) and a beautiful gift from my mom

I'm so sorry I didn't have our camera to snap a few pictures! My dad had his flip-video, so perhaps one day I can load the video. But it was a wonderful day. It was also just too short, but it was a taste of summer and what's to come...

Since then I've been a bit exhausted and have tried to take it easy at school and at home. It's amazing what can truly wear me out these days. A Wrinkle in Time continues to be a blessing for me and my students and I am so fortunate to work with such supportive people!

Someone told me that we only have 44 more days of school... I think I can make it :)

Spring Forward!

It's always hard to get used to skipping an hour. Our internal clocks just can't quite adjust and it's hard to get up while it's still dark. The students seemed a bit more drowsy today, too. And it's a Monday.

Even still, today wasn't a droll Monday for us...

Remember our campfire area?

Before

Our landlord and the grounds guy, Travis, decided to mulch some of the areas around our property that don't grow much grass. One of those areas just happened to be our backyard! And, since we have a fire pit in our yard, they decided that we should have some gravel, instead of mulch, in case of a wayfaring spark landing in the mulch. Therefore, Travis spent the entire day hauling small boulders from the woods with a wheelbarrow and over to our yard.

On this Monday I came home to a new and improved, beautiful backyard! It may be difficult to see, but there is a ring of boulders encircling some gravel (more is coming later...the circle is not quite complete). He also added boulders to our little pathway to the back porch, that Jim started last year.

After!

How exciting! It pays to be good friends with the grounds person! He comes by often with his pup, Mack, to talk to us (mostly Jim, since I'm often still at school) and to let the boys socialize.

We hope something added a spring to your step today, too!

Thank you to Regina for a tilapia dinner today! We've really appreciated all of the meals over the past few weeks. We're humbled by your generosity.

Fantasy: an escape!

Last year I attended the annual conference sponsored by The Reading and Writing Project at the Teacher's College  of Columbia University. Every year it's held in New York City and I was so fortunate to have the support from my school and the chance to go with my mom and her coworkers. While at this conference I went to a presentation that inspired and moved me. It moved me so much that I made the next unit I taught fantasy.

Below you'll find the notes I made while in the presentation:

Presenter: Mary Ehrenworth

Session Title: Epic Books, Epic Readers: Coming of Age as a Reader of Fantasy

When you introduce a genre study it is important that you tell your students: what, why and what it will look like.

Why fantasy?

1. Unleashes imagination
2. Coming of age- How to be better? Events and issues that can be found in our everyday lives.
3. So beautiful (worlds, escape from reality, characters, discoveries, etc)
4. Preteens yearn to be extraordinary or more than they are. They yearn to transcend the ordinariness of their lives. We all yearn to do this. Fantasy allows this to happen through escaping into a story and its world.
5. Fantasy can be used to lure children into life-long readers
6. Vocabulary is advanced in fantasies (Tier III vocab) For example: hungry vs. ravenous (fantasy)
7. Realistic fiction can often be inappropriate, as far as the content, but the reading level may match that of the student. Fantasy does not get inappropriate.
8. Fantasies have complicated plots with cause and effect. People may die, but they are not inappropriate (Golden Compass- people die)

Fantasy Unit: Three components: volume, density, and complex comprehension

What’s been discovered is when kids WANT to read --------> they READ!!! (Example: Harry Potter series)

That was just a very small section of my notes, but the list has stuck with me for almost a year now. And the novel that we started? Yup, it's a fantasy novel; we're reading A Wrinkle in Time. What a classic, brilliant children's novel!

As I've been reading the novel during the past two days, I've realized that I've begun a journey with my students. Each day we are traveling into this story, into this world, and we are escaping from reality, as it says in number three above. No matter what's been going in in our lives, we get to escape for at least 30, sometimes 50 minutes of our day. It's not just the kids who really need to escape this year, it's me too. In those minutes, I finally get to forget my pain and recovery period and become active again.

And just as preteens yearn to be extraordinary and more than they are, this year I want it more than ever, too. In reading we can transcend the ordinariness and become magically cured for a time.

Fortunately, I teach three classes for 90 minutes each and so I get to escape during all of my class periods. There's no place I'd rather be than in the Murry family kitchen and watching/listening to Charles Wallace, a five year old, be the mother or father figural archetype! (I was so excited when some of the students pointed that out today!)

A Wrinkle in Time take me away! 

________________________________________________

The headache continues to run strong, even though I sit in a swivel chair in the front of the room. The students are amazing and so are the teachers and aids who swoop in to take care of all of the walking and prompting tasks!

Much Better + Mere & Sean!

Today was a much better day. I sat for almost all of the classes, other than a few instructional times, and I had the support of an instructional assistant who predicted my every move before I even knew what I wanted to do. My headache is running strong right now, but it's not because we didn't take every precaution. This'll be how I feel in the afternoons for a while, I suppose.

The students have still been AMAZING! It helps that we started a novel...

And it's hump day, so I only have two more days to go!

But there's something much more important to share... my lovely friend, Meredith got married this weekend! They eloped on Friday by Lake Anna! Our friend, Lucy, was the photographer and caught this beautiful moment. Our wedding was her first one ever and she did such a wonderful job. Since then her business has really taken off. Here is a sneak peek from Lucy O Photography! :)

Such joy! - Lucy O Photo

Check out that smile! She's so beautiful and such an awesome person, musician, and friend. We're just so thrilled for Sean and Meredith and look forward to many adventures with them during years to come!

Thank you to Jen for the yummy spinach & bacon quiche dinner!

Tougher Day, Wonderful Students

Even before I started back I knew that the first two days were going to be the toughest. The students had started a biography project last week and it was continuing into the beginning of this week. I decided that the projects needed to have a cut-off date and today was the day.

I found myself moving around a lot more throughout the day, when I really should have been staying put and letting the students come to me. I already broke one of my goals. The students were really well behaved, got their work done, and kept busy. I have been so proud of them since I've been back.

One of my students came up to me at the end of class and said, "Mrs. ____, are you feeling okay? You were walking around a lot today."

"I know, I really shouldn't have been. My headache is pounding right now. You need to remind me to sit down, if you see me walking around too much. Please, I do need your help!"

"Well I didn't feel comfortable commanding you to SIT DOWN, but I did notice that you were moving and walking more today" (Too cute!)

"Yes, well you have my permission to tell me tomorrow. I do need the reminders."

"Okay, I will!"

Love it.

This morning was rough, with some uncomfortable stomach stuff and then a strong headache to start off the day, but I made it. My head is pounding right now and I'm exhausted, but the project is over and I'm hoping for a calmer day tomorrow. You have to have endurance to make it through the school day and right now my body's just trying to keep up with what's inside. Fortunately the kids are responding well to me being back in the room and my school, even though in SOL testing, has worked and pulled in order to make sure I have back-up in the room.

And the best thing about tomorrow is that we are starting a new novel! I love reading novels with my students. We get into such a great rhythm of word studies, projects in their Reader's Journals, discussions, and reading, that the days fly by. I think that sitting and reading a novel will definitely cut-down on my movement around the classroom. That's what I'm hoping, at least!

I was prepared to be exhausted and tired at the end of each day. I am basically having my first days of school all over again, except this time the students know my expectations and routines. It's nice to have a first day of school, when a look is all you need to get a student back on track. My students never cease to amaze me and I hope they keep up this GREAT work!

First Day Back!

My first class came in and got to work with me hardly opening my mouth. Students from that class and others approached to give me a hug and other than saying, "Gentle, gentle" before they hugged me, I was surprised to turn around and see a classroom at work without my prompting. The next two classes were similar, but they are always a little noisier after lunch anyway.

In each class I showed them the diagrams below and talked about what happened and where I was during the last 2.5 weeks. I joked that I wished I could have shown them a nice tan from a tropical vacation, but that's definitely not where I'd been.

Next, we talked about the modifications we'd have to make within the classroom. One routine I've worked hard to employ all year had to be completely reversed today and it killed me. I ask the students to raise their hand and I will come to them, rather than have a stampede of students coming toward me all day long. Well, now they have to come to me in a seat somewhere in the classroom.... it's already proven to be a hard adjustment for them, but even more so for me!

Even though we didn't get the snow day, we still had a good day. Tomorrow may be completely different, but today's behind us.

The doctor's appointment went well, too! My INR is at a 2.6 and my hemoglobin level is good. The doctor was thrilled with my INR. He also showed me some light exercises I can do to keep my muscles in my neck from atrophying during this sore and stiff time. I'll go back again on March 17th at 9 AM.

It's now 5:39 PM and I am ready to crash. Time to put up my feet :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank yous!!!

A HUGE thank you to Wanda and Vicki for your help in planning and teaching for the last few weeks! What would I have done without your help and friendship? I can't even imagine. Thank you for the hospital and home visits AND meals, too! You both are such wonderful people and have certainly blessed us with your calm, can-do attitudes! 

Thank you to Liz, Kristin, and Faith for stepping up to the plate, too. You guys rock!

Thank you to Judy for her taxi services to the doctor today and for the many times this year and last year! We appreciate your help in the afternoons!!!!

Thank you to Lynn for dinner tonight! We're excited!

Thank you to everyone who's been praying and thinking about the two of us! We're so fortunate to have so many loving people in our lives. We look forward to giving you big hugs the next time we see each of you! 

Hi Ho Hi Ho...

It's off to work I go!



I have to admit that I'm a bit nervous about heading back to school. It's been a full 2.5 weeks and a lot can happen in that amount of time! While I was gone, three students left and I never got to say goodbye. Also in that time they went over my favorite unit! I had been waiting all year to get to poetry and then I got to be there for two days and that's it.

But I know that as soon as I walk in the door the butterflies will dissipate and I'll be back in the swing of things. Honestly, I'm excited to see the students again and I hope they'll forgive me for being gone so long and understand the slight modifications I'll have to make.

Here are some of my goals:

• I'll try to sit more. Even sitting for a couple minutes will be more than I ever did, so I will try.
• I'll attempt to delegate passing out papers to the students.
• I'll be honest and open about how I'm feeling with the students and my coworkers.
• I'll ask for help when I need it.
• I'll modify the lesson plans, if need be.

Each of these will be a challenge for me, so wish me luck!

Unless the following amounts to something...

Winter Weather Advisory
Hazardous Weather Outlook

Tonight: Snow likely, mainly after 4am. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 28. West wind between 6 and 9 mph becoming calm. Chance of precipitation is 60%. Total nighttime snow accumulation of around an inch possible. 

Monday: Snow, mainly before 1pm. High near 37. Calm wind becoming northwest between 14 and 17 mph. Winds could gust as high as 28 mph. Chance of precipitation is 90%. New snow accumulation of 2 to 4 inches possible. 

www.weather.gov

Thank you to Wanda for the delicious baked potato soup for dinner yesterday!

Lab Work: Tomorrow @ 3:45 PM (Checking INR and hemoglobin- based on the results we'll schedule a follow-up appt)

GP Appt.: 3/17 @ 9 AM

Dreary Day: A Chance to Sit

The rainy, chilly day was almost a friendly reminder that it's alright for me to stay inside, even though I'm feeling a little better. I wouldn't be missing anything by spending just a little more time on our new chair and reading a magazine. Yes, I am feeling like reading again! That must be a sign that my headache is, in fact, lighter. Four weeks of the horrible headache are behind me! I loved just sitting and actually being comfortable.

While I sat inside, Jim headed out for a walk with the boys. It hadn't rained until after he got far out on the trail. Each time the rain lightened I thought, "Oh good!" And then the next wave of hard rain would come again. He came back in high spirits and even went right back out for a workout in the little pavilion next to us.

Two o'clock struck and it was time for me to get out of the house. We swung by Jim's school to drop off one of his assignments, and then we were off to my school to see what the coming week will hold. I got to see the wonderful teachers who have been covering and planning for me and a few other colleagues and my principal. I even saw some students, since it was after school, and they were excited to see me. I heard one of them say, "Oh man, she looks like she's still in pain," as I was walking down the hall and yards away from them.

The truth is that I do still have a headache and I do still have a sore neck. And I twist with my torso, not my neck. They're used to me hopping around the classroom and leaping from place to place to make a point, but I just can't do that for a long while now. We'll make do with what we have.

Jim and I have decided that the best thing for me to do will be to tell them about what happened. And tell them why I was gone and how I'll need to heal for a full recovery. I hope that the relationship I've built with them over the year will help us to smoothly transition to an adapted/modified type of instruction within the classroom. It'll be an adjustment period for all of us.

After a few errands, we've settled down to watch Hugo.

Thank you to Regina for a new supply of DVDs and popcorn and thank you to Donna for some homemade baked goods, jam, and apple butter, and a jar of honey!

Doctor's Visits:
3/5 Lab Work Appt. @ 3:45 PM
Probably another lab visit between these two
3/17 GP Appt. @ 9 AM

Happy Friday, everyone!

Slow and Steady

First off, Happy Leap Day to you all! I just love that there's a day that only comes around every four years. How neat is that?

I wish I could say that I celebrated this special day, but it was actually a bit lousy. My sleep was very poor last night and I awoke to a phone call from HR telling me that my "return to work" form had too many restrictions and that I cannot return to work on Monday. So, needless to say, I've spent much of this day on the phone with HR and with my doctor's office. As of right now, a new set of forms sit and wait for my family doctor. He may be able to change some of the restrictions, but I'm not sure he'll be able to change all of them. There is something to be said for this long, slow recovery... there are some things I just cannot do.

One of the cards I've received. Slow and steady...

The toughest thing for me will be the months to come. I know this already. And while I do not wear a bandage like the turtle in this picture, it's going to be even harder because my pain and injury are not visible from the outside. I've never had an injury like this before.

And for the past two weeks I have been quietly and passively blaming myself for my condition. If I had just handled my stress better, or if I had just stood up for myself during a peak of stressful time, or if I had just exercised more, or if I had just let certain things go, then perhaps this wouldn't have happened to me. While I've said over and over that hindsight is hindsight, I haven't really let myself hand over this burden. I've kept it within and it was really wearing on me.

We can reach for explanations, but they can only go so far. We can research and plan and organize and consult, but at some point we have to realize that there are some things we cannot control. Because, believe me, I've done each of those things.

Wisdom came to me from our neighbor and friend on the Clarion River. She said, "I am sending my prayers for you and ask that you forgive yourself and your body for creating this mess...  Take care of yourself, be your own best friend, and when you forget to do this, forgive yourself and begin again!!!"

These words came almost as a blanket to comfort me and tuck me in during one of my lowest moments. It's okay to forgive myself and allow myself to forget, and then be reminded again. It's really alright. And in my response to her, I said that I will need to read these words many times over the next 6 months. Those 6 months have now been extended to 9 months, but with the likelihood of a full recovery.

And while I'm an introvert, I also just love being around people (Right, Krumichs?). Just when I started missing interactions with people, I got a card from Jim's parents saying, 'If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's this: whatever comes, you won't be alone. You'll have thoughts and prayers surrounding and protecting you every step of the way. So just picture yourself right there in the middle of a big circle of caring... because that's where you are. And there's no safer place to be.'

Between the doctors, my family, coworkers, and friends, I really do feel surrounded by warmth, peace, and friendship. The number of people reading my meager blog is amazing to me. Thanks for being with me every step of the way.

Last night was actually my worst night of sleep yet. My headache feels a bit lighter and my neck continues to ache. But the good news from the past two days still has my heart leaping for joy! Get it? LEAP-ing? Leap day... leaping... :)

Next Up:

- When will I return to work?

- Lab Work, Monday 3/5 @ 3:45

- GP Appt., Friday 3/9 @ 4

Thank you to Susan for dinner and dessert tonight!

Good, good news!

Well, two doctor's appointments later, I am feeling quite optimistic and happy!

Yesterday we met with the neurologist and he is expecting a full recovery for me! Woohoo! Never have those words been more beautiful. I put them in the same category as summer, dark chocolate, vacation, music, singing, outdoors, and adventure :)

Hiking up Mt. Aspiring in Alaska, 2011
Full recovery means I may do this again!?

He drew me a few pictures to really diagram what happened and what he expects to happen. He also changed my pain medications and muscle relaxers, in hopes that they will help and to take me off of one narcotic, which could lead to other problems. He guessed that we are out-of-the-woods, so to speak, as far as a stroke, with a 5% possibility of stroke. He says I'll need to stay on coumadin for 9 months, so that puts us to Novemeber, folks. It will be a very happy Thanksgiving, indeed. I'll go back to him in three months, but will communicate with him prior to then.

When we walked out of his office Jim immediately said, "He is a beast." Jim doesn't give out those compliments lightly. So, you can be that he really is :)

This morning I went to the family doctor, who Jim also thinks is incredible. Side note: Jim went to Honduras with my family doctor and his family last year. He got to see him in many different settings and is just so impressed with how he interacts with patients, other colleagues, medical students, and his own family. Jim basically wants to BE this doctor. And I think he's pretty great, too.

Okay, back to the update.... they checked my INR and it was 2.0!!!!! Yay! This means that I am barely within the range I should be in, but I'm there! And this also means that I don't need to prepare myself for horrible, painful shots of Lovenox every 12 hours! Good, good news.

He also checked my hemoglobin levels to make sure that I am not at risk for anemia and I'm not, yet. We'll continue checking those levels whenever I go in for a visit.

So, those are the wonderful updates. Yup, I'm thrilled. I still have a headache and neck pain, but hopefully the new medications will work their magic. It's still going to be a slow, low-key recovery, but there's an end in sight and a healthy, good prediction comes with it.

We filled out my paperwork for the school system today and he says I can return for full-day work starting on Monday (3/5). By then perhaps the pain will be "under control." The fact is that I may have to live with some for a while. I think I'll tiptoe into work and do some planning and some visiting and prep before then, but that's the deal.

Thank you for your continued support and love! It's time to go lie down now :)

Showered

I'm very much like my grandparents in that I absolutely love checking the mail. I can remember visits with them from throughout my childhood, when they would systematically find out when the mailman arrived. Yes, they lived in a house a fair distance from the road, but they always kept the view to the mailbox clear. They would carefully schedule and place items to be mailed out in the box with the flag up and then they would wait and check with their binoculars if the flag had been lowered. If it had, we'd go on a walk to get the mail and then, sometimes, meander back to the house on one of their trails.

I have this same excitement about checking the mail, even if it is just bills and catalogs. Well, Jim didn't check the mail yesterday and I was a little bummed. Normally I pick him up from work and I, without fail, stop to get the mail. Jim's got some different genes, that's for sure; mail isn't a big priority for him. So, no mail yesterday.

Well, today I decided to venture out of the house on a short walk with my hubby. Where did I decide to go? You guessed it, the mailbox! And you all certainly did not let me down...

And a visit from Wanda brought more. Janet, the business teacher at school, put together a beautiful flip-video of my 6th graders, which I wish I could share on here. Watching my students brought tears of joy and warmed my heart. Such a thoughtful gift!

Thank you to Kiah for dinner tonight! Yum!

We've got so much to be thankful for. As the rain sprinkled outside, I felt showered in love on the inside.

_______________________________________________________________________

Health update: not much to say! I might be imagining it, but I think that the headache was lighter today. The walk felt good, but I may have pushed too hard, as the headache is going strong now. A reminder to take it slow...

Jim had a free clinic practical experience today and, once again, he came home beaming. It's so great to see his hard work paying off in these Friday experiences. He's going to be such a great doctor!

Oh, and both of the girls I was conditioning for soccer try-outs made the team today!!! I'm thrilled for them :)

It's a Beautiful Dawn

This morning I had the best surprise/pick-me-up! Go check-out my cousin Marianne's blog and her adorable child, Annaliese. They live in Alaska, but their love travels the miles. I just love you guys! Go here ----> Kasch Blog

I really cannot convey just how much I appreciate your correspondence through the many modes of communication. People from my past have come out of the woodwork and I continue to feel the love and support of my dear family, close friends, and everyone at Shawsville Middle School and VCOM.

I love snail mail <3

Jim's been blessed to have so many passionate and supportive people at his school. Today he has two tests and one of them is his make-up test from when we were in the hospital. Yesterday he had a practical that he said went really well. He's pretty incredible, huh?

My school and coworkers have been truly understanding and compassionate. The special ed. teacher I work with and the gifted resource teacher have been amazing.  They check in with me and have taken over my lesson plans, so that we don't get behind. I couldn't be more fortunate to have them working with me. Their already-full plates have just added a second and third helping and they still ask for more. Thank you, Vicki and Wanda!

I continue to have a headache, soreness in my neck, and feel a bit down today, but the music is surely helping! My latest favorite is Beautiful Dawn by The Wailin' Jennys (Predictable, eh?).  The lyrics cut straight to my core today. Have a listen and take some time to relax.