8 on the 8th!

Eight years ago we said "I do." We stepped into this journey called marriage and started the journey of walking each day of our lives together. Year eight has been no joke. It's been challenging, exciting, busy and has included a whole lot of soul-searching. We location-searched, job-searched, house-searched, and dug deep into our ambitions and goals for our family. 

And after doing each of those things, we *FINISHED* residency and hit the road for our new home in New Hampshire. In the end, we are thrilled with where this year took us, where this marriage adventure has landed us. And, so far, we aren't taking one single day out of residency for granted!! Here's to more family time, outdoor pursuits, adventure, and beach time than we've ever had or done before. Year nine, it's on!! :)

Marriage is an amazing thing. So many layers of life all wrapped up within one person. The joys, the painful, the self-sacrificing, they're all seen and heard by one person day in and day out. We have a lot of learning & growing to do yet, but it's good to stop and take stock of where we are in year EIGHT.

Deeper in love than before, feeling known, & at peace with this life we're making together.

Honestly

Do you see this picture? This crazy, fuzzy, motion-filled, imperfect picture? 

This depicts life in our home.

Someone recently said something to me about how I must only show the highlights of our life as a family of four. I can understand why she might think that. But it honestly irked me.

There are a few reasons for why it irked me and it's taken me some time to digest and navigate.

First, life in our house is far from perfect. Of course it can't be perfect! There are four personalities attempting to live under one roof. Four needs and wants that aren't always met. That makes for a lot of lowlights (the opposite of highlights) and shadows, and tears, and unpleasant moments.

Secondly, I find it disrespectful to post pictures of any of my children crying, screaming, or in any way unhappy. I'd be incredibly upset if someone posted a picture of me at my worst and mocked me for my emotions. They don't have access to social media now, but one day they will, and I want them to feel comfortable knowing that I haven't embarrassed them or shamed them for being human. I've done my best to embrace those emotions in our home, but it won't happen on social media. We have journals we are writing to each of the kids and I will write those things personally, if/when needed.

It's not that I want to paint the picture that life is only full of rainbows and sunshine. I'd love to tell you that's all I've experienced in this life, but it's just not true. Life is messy and dusty and new. Life can be full and empty. Life is hard and broken. Life is soft and fixed. Life is sharing, giving, and taking. Life is a daring adventure.

I once read a quote that said, "Behind every good kid is a mother who's sure she's screwed it all up." Or something like that.

I get to the end of every day and wonder, and pray, and hope that I've not ruined everything. Hoped that there would be grace where my edges were raw, where my emotions flipped for little reason, and that my children would know, first and foremost, how deeply they are loved.

My social media sites are full of what I want my children to know and remember and hear. It's full of what I want to savor. It's full of the goodness I want to seek, the moments I want to cherish, and the celebrations that should be lavishly enjoyed. I share my heart here, but it is certainly censored for our own privacy and to respect those I love so dearly, and myself.

I choose wonder, hope, and light in the midst of it all. If I didn't then I'm not sure how I'd get out of bed in the morning, or rest my head at night. These years won't last forever and I want to slow down, enjoy, and notice them.

Snapshots of Life

These cover a span of time between Owen's three and four week birthdays. Life with this lad is pretty sweet.

Our Firstborn (A long-overdue update)

I'm not sure if you knew this already, but we are just crazy about this little dude. In three weeks, give or take two weeks, he will be a big brother. We are soaking up as much of him as we can, savoring the moments, and I wanted to get one more post in of his latest goings-ons before our baby comes. It's been a while since I've shared his latest sayings and developments.

This age is so, so unbelievably fun!! His language abilities astound us daily. He continues to love to help in any way, be it emptying/unloading the dishwasher, loading or unloading the washer & dryer, bringing new hay to the chicken coop, feeding the chickens, putting his toys away, putting his laundry in the hamper, and many other things.

That said, he has also become quite emphatic with his use of the word, "No." He has become more opinionated and is able express exactly what he wants or needs. In some ways this has made life much easier, while in other ways it's certainly been a challenge.

His feelings get hurt, he gets frustrated, he doesn't like correction, and he'll separate himself or hide. While it appears that he's pushing us away, normally it's a cry for some one-on-one time with either myself for Jim. We go to him, or he comes to us, and have a conversation acknowledging his feelings and ask if he'd like some time by himself, a hug, or for us to stay with him. Normally he requests a hug, which turns into a little cuddle.

Ian is growing more and more independent with his play and for longer stretches of time. Today I cleaned for most of the morning while he played contentedly by himself, checking in every now and then. During Jim's commute from the clinic to the VA hospital, we chatted on the phone about noticing the direct correlation between how much time he's had one-on-one focused attention to how much time he'll play on his own, with his own motivation.

Lately, his favorite toys are his animals and the barn, his trains, and the castle blocks from Christine and he's also wild about puzzles these days!! We love watching his imagination run with these open-ended toys. In the pictures below he created a lion (left) and PMO (right). PMO meets in a church that looks almost exactly like his interpretation!!

 SLEEP! Glorious sleep. Ian is sleeping through the night!! It's wonderful and amazing. And soon we'll have a newborn and we'll be deprived of sleep again. For now, it's absolutely wonderful. He goes to bed easily around 7:30 and gets up between 6:30-7:15, usually. He consistently naps around 1 PM for about an hour and a half.

We have a solid routine of reading two books, turning on the sound machine and turning off the light, singing songs, hugs & kisses, turning on his music, and then blowing three kisses before walking out the door.

Normally Jim gives him the bath (if he's home) and then we all read books together, Jim leaves while I sing songs, and then we have some time to ourselves. It's been a huge blessing these last few months. Last night I was out and Jim was able to put him down without any trouble. This is a great age.

 The first snow we had only proved to be a light dusting, but I just love this little family photo of us. Currently we have about a foot of snow on the ground, so this pales in comparison.

 These animals travel to the bath and back out. He's crazy about them. They almost always end up in a line like this around the tub.

Baby Dale & Ian

 Ian continues to love to play with Leif in the backyard and to observe our chickens and rabbits. Leif is certainly the most interactive and accessible. He will throw the ball for Leif and then walk up to him and hug him until he drops the ball again. Then repeats the process. It's sweet.

Leif also is very patient with Ian when he's inside the house, too. Ian can climb all over him while he's lying down and he doesn't seem to mind. What a relief to have such a gentle dog.

 Due to the imminent arrival of our baby, we've been having lots of conversations about him/her. We've talked about how mama and papa will go to the hospital and how Ian will stay home with Äma to sleep, play and eat food.... "But Mama & Papa come right back." Yes, we always come back because we love you so much.

We've talked about how the baby might cry and how we'll have to figure out if he/she is hungry, tired, or needs a diaper change. We've talked about where the baby will sleep and set-up the bassinet in the pack-n-play. We've unpacked the baby's clothes, blankets, and toys.

One day he asked me what our baby will eat and we discussed that it would eat Mama's milk. He was holding his baby doll at the time and I asked him what his baby would eat and he stopped and said, "Hmmm, my baby eat sweet potato." Very nutritious!!

His baby has needed much more care and attention during the last couple weeks. She needs to be fed, drink water or milk, changed, and, most of the time, she needs to sleep in the baby's bed. One day she came outside with us to take care of the chickens and he stated that she needed a hood. Considering that it was about 14 degrees F outside, she certainly did require a hood. What a good little Papa/big brother.

 Ian's been very affectionate lately, with many "I love yous" and hugs and kisses. Sometimes he requests that he'd like to "Hold Mama." This means that he wants to give me a hug from behind. Normally he wants to sit behind me on a chair or on the couch and wrap his arms around my shoulders. It's just the sweetest.

 This past weekend we got a foot of snow and Jim didn't have to go to work for three WHOLE days. It was wonderful. The snow was just a little too high for Ian to truly enjoy because he had to hold my hand to get anywhere without falling multiple times, but he was a trooper. My favorite thing was when he'd fall down in the snow and then assure us with an, "I'm okay!!!" Haha! Glad to hear it, little man.

Post-snow fun snuggles.

 Here, Ian had just played in the snow again and was sipping his first hot cocoa while watching Papa dig both of our cars out of the snow.

Here are some of my favorite things that Ian's said recently. I'm sure there are many more that I haven't written down, but at least I've captured a few here:

One day we were heading somewhere in the morning and the sun was shining brightly in both of our eyes. From the backseat of the car I heard a soft, sweet suggestive voice say, "Maybe we need to get our glasses on?" Haha!! I laughed out loud. Yes, that's certainly something that would help!!

Another one of my favorite things he says happens in the car. He says, "Oh hey! You see it!!!" and it's normally followed quickly by a "It's right dere, dis way" with a point of his finger and extension of his whole arm. It's so fun to talk about things that we are seeing while we are driving and I love that he has things he'd like to share with me, too. When we see a cement truck he says, "Dere's a truck. It go round and round!" Adorable.

A common phrase is "I need...." Most of the time it's very sweet and innocent, but occasionally it can come off as quite demanding. We've been working on changing the phrasing and adding please, when applicable. It is probably most used when he wants to play with Papa. He says, "I need Papa fall down!" This means that he wants Papa to come down to the floor and wrestle with him. Oh, the jovial brawls those two get into....!

He also really likes to say, "I need Papa run. Papa run!" They do laps around the house and Ian is getting really skilled at changing directions and "faking" Jim out. If it weren't for Ian's loud stomps and constant giggling, Jim might have a bit more of a challenge on his hands. Ian is so fast around the corners in our house! It's impressive.

Or, this weekend we heard this a lot: "I need Mama and Papa play in the snow." Don't mind if we do! And he kept telling us, "It's snowy everywhere!" It sure is :)

Since he played so well independently today, I took advantage of it and got a lot of cleaning done around the house (nesting much???). After his nap I knew I wanted/needed to get him outside for a bit to enjoy the snow.

I asked, "Do you want to go outside?"
"Soon. I play with my animals."
A while later, "Now are you ready to go outside and play in the snow?"
"No, I want to play with my animals. One minute."

Waiting longer, "Do you want to play in the snow now and take food to the chickens?"
No, one minute. I will play with my animals one minute."

And then finally it was time to go outside and play in the snow. Time to get dressed in his full get-up. I never realized that he was understanding these concepts of time, but apparently he has figured them out.

We ended up having a lovely time outside. We walked down to the playground where he enjoyed clamoring up the steps in his bulky, warm boots, going down the slide, landing in the snow, and then doing it all over again.

__________________________________________________

Life's about to change drastically for our family and, in some ways, I've had to mourn the fact that Ian won't get my full attention. But I have moved through those emotions and am just getting so excited to meet and hold our dear baby, learn if it's a boy or a girl, and watch Ian become a big brother!!

I can't imagine growing up and life without my own siblings. Life would have been entirely different without them. They were/are my constant playmates, challengers, biggest fans, and biggest critics. We had to learn to be best buddies for entire summers at The Pinery, with no other kids to play with day in and day out.

We want these gifts for Ian and this baby, too. It's not always easy having a sibling, but it shapes us for life and they are the only ones who know who you were and truly are, and where you came from.

Call us crazy, but we're ready for the next adventure ;)

Rabbits!

As promised in our Christmas card, we adopted bunnies. Some people may be dismayed at the fact that these bunnies aren't for "pets." We've adopted two breeding mamas and a large papa. When we brought them home from our friends' home, there was a litter born quite a few weeks before.

One of the bunnies, in particular, was quite sweet and lovable and so we brought it out for Ian to meet. I'll never forget his glee when we pulled up in the driveway and he saw bunnies in the hutch for the first time. Oh, the incredulous squeals that commenced!!

 Last week we added a few rabbits to our freezer for the first time. Remember how I told you that Jim's very interested in permaculture? Bunnies' poop is great for compost and gardening. Multiple purposes on a very small scale in our backyard downtown.

Like father, like son.

A new endeavor that won't probably get much documentation here, 

but needed some acknowledgement. This is, after all, our family journal.

Happy New Year!!

A year in review, of sorts.

The year 2015 was a pretty big year for our family.

We traveled to Germany & Switzerland for the first time ever as a unit and a family. We visited my cousin, Marianne, and her family in Hannover, Germany for about a week. While there, we fell in love with the sauna and can only dream of having one like it nearby. Next we went to see my host parents from when I student taught abroad in Erlangen, near Nuremburg. What a fun, loving couple Meg & Mark are! I was so blessed to spend time with them in undergrad and then loved sharing my family with them for a few days this year. We left their home for Switzerland, where we met my friend from high school for a tour of Bern before spending a couple of nights outside of Frauenkappelen with Marianne and her family and Phoebe & James. Here we visited with my great aunt Lizzy, explored the countryside around their home, had dinner with our extended Swiss family, and then walked around Solothurn (seeing the place where my grandpa was born & lived before coming to America). It was a full and busy two weeks! Ian was a champ of a traveler, even at nineteen months old.

 When we returned home, we brought a flock of chickens into our family. It's been a year of learning, loss, eggs, and fun as we watch Ian help with the chores of caring for these birds.

We've recently adopted rabbits from our friends and this will be our next "homesteading" adventure. We're enjoying dabbling in minor animal care and gardens. Jim's dream is to one day have a permaculture haven. Right now we're dabbling and collecting books & knowledge, but one day it will happen. Stay tuned :)

 Jim transitioned from intern to a senior resident in his family medicine program in June. The end of 2014 was quite difficult, having had most of the toughest rotations stacked in that fall, but the spring of 2015 brought much more family time and room to breathe. The fall of 2015 has also brought much more family time and opportunities to pursue his passions.

His biggest thrill has been joining the Blacksburg Rugby team. With a couple of practices a week and games on the weekend, his love for competitive sports and a chance to spend time with friends in and out of the medical field have proved to be an invaluable asset to him and our family. Ian & I have loved going to games both at home and away; it's fun to have a family sport to rally behind.

 In June we became pregnant with our second child and expect to welcome him/her in February 2016!! We cannot wait to meet our little one and give Ian a sibling. Our excitement is balanced by a desire to soak up as much time with Ian as we can during these fleeting days and weeks.

As you can imagine, the pregnancy and Ian have consumed my 2015 year. I love nurturing our family through outdoor activities, seeking to provide healthy & nourishing meals, and attempting to hold down the fort during the busy months of residency. I absolutely love this purpose in life: being a mama. Each day brings such anticipation and joy as the person Ian is becoming gets unlocked minute by minute.

The biggest lesson and gift I've been given this year has been the gift of time. This summer a space became available for Ian in a local Parent's Morning Out (PMO) program. With two weeks to wrap my head around it, we decided to go for it and he started going two mornings a week. He absolutely adores his teachers and thrives through interactions with other children, fine & gross motor activities, outside playtime, and creative, process-oriented art projects. It's a joy to watch him feel so secure and comfortable in their care.

During the times when Ian's in PMO, I have tried to be very purposeful about making the most of these gifts of time. In the beginning, I was trying to get all of the cleaning, housework, etc. done and realized that this was leaving me a bit drained and not pouring life back into me. Through a MOPS talk I learned and was given permission to choose to make this time my own, doing only activities that would actually be life-giving.

It's been an exciting shift in perspective for me. I've started putting myself first during this time and have gone swimming a whole lot (what an amazing activity for a pregnant woman!), sat and journaled, sat and read, pursued other errands and activities I wouldn't be able to do as easily with Ian in tow, and I've even just sat, closed my eyes, and relaxed. It's been HUGE for my outlook.

When our second baby comes, this will once again move into flux, but I hope and pray that the lessons I've learned during 2015 will pour into the upcoming year. Tasks & stuff can wait... and they normally get taken care of faster and more efficiently when I've taken some time for myself.

 Where to start with Ian? WHOA. What an amazing kid!! We are so proud to be his parents. His enthusiasm for life, drive to tackle and complete challenges, and his ever-multiplying vocabulary keep us on our toes and in rapt attention throughout the days. His language has just exploded over the course of this year to the point that he is now speaking in complete sentences, using correct tenses and pronouns.

He loves to sing and listen to music (live and on the radio), complete puzzles, run ("Ready, run Papa/Mama?"), throw the ball for and tackle Leif, listen to/read books, study animals, color and paint, laugh with friends, help with our chickens and observe the rabbits, build with blocks, play with and set up trains, play with toy animals, and hike & play outside. Among many other things...

Ian speaks about our baby often and lifts up my shirt to point to where he/she is. He has felt the baby move within my belly and he sings songs to him/her sometimes. I'm sure there will be a transition, but he seems excited about being a "big brudder."

 This year, in particular, we've felt a strong sense of community in our area. It's wonderful to have good friends to walk with through this season of our lives. Our residency and parenting journeys have been enriched by sharing tables, trails, tears, and laughs with people in the same stages of life. For this, we are eternally grateful.

 Thank you for following our family this year. Thank you for your encouragement and love as we prepare to welcome our second child into the family. We hope our paths cross often in 2016!!

The adventure continues...

Much love,

Käthe, Jim, Ian & Baby