Forget-Me-Not

Last weekend was my grandma's memorial service. The little boys and I drove up to Paris and then up to NW Pennsylvania with my dad. Dad had some plants he wanted to drop off at our cabin prior to heading to where we would be staying for the weekend. When he pulled off the interstate, both boys and I were sleeping soundly. We could have made it to my aunt's without stopping, but Dad insisted on going by way of the cabin, which would take a bit longer.

I'm so glad he did.

When we got to the cabin, there in the front was a bed of blue flowers.

We never get to the cabin in the month of May. Our time there is usually in the summer months of June through August. It was a total surprise to us to find this beautiful blue blanket. Not only that, but three different kinds of blue-ish flowers greeted us there.

Dad and I were thrilled. These flowers were a perfect memoriam of Grandma. It was fitting that on her memorial weekend, these flowers were thriving. She's now in a better place, a place where all things have been made new again.

And these flowers were a sure sign that she was and is with us.

My mom and siblings arrived the next day. They, too, swung by the cabin. When Mom arrived she said, "You know what those flowers are called? Forget-me-nots."

So, so beautiful.

In the place where I have a million and one memories with my grandma, there she was, still with us.

Certainly never to be forgotten.

She surrounded us that day at The Pinery.

It really moved my dad.

The whole weekend was just as Grandma would have wanted it. 

Our family trekked in from Florida, Virginia, and Pittsburgh. 

We had a huge gathering down at their old house, where my cousin lives now.

We sat around a campfire and shared laughs.

Then, on Saturday, we all wore our finest blue, her favorite color, and went to the church to celebrate and remember her.

Many of us sang "I'll Fly Away" as the final prelude song, my dad played a beautiful folk hymn called "Resignation" with the lyrics to Psalm 29, my uncle Mark played a flute piece she requested be played at her memorial, my uncle Eric and his wife did the remarks, and my aunt Beth led the choir (and anyone else who wanted to join in) in a final piece called "Go Ye Now in Peace." The memorial was full of music and it was so beautiful to watch her children each offer something to the service. She was one beloved mother.

"Borning Cry", the hymn, took me down to tears, as it always does. Whew.

Top L-R: Phoebe, Mom, Matt, Uncle Mark, Aunt Charlene, Aunt Beth, Julie, Jake, Aunt Charlotte, Kaelen, Izzy, Willem, Aunt Aimee, Uncle Eric, Lisa. Bottom: Dad, Owen, Ian, Me, Hazel, Heidi. Four generations.

After the service, the whole family returned to the compound (where my aunt, cousin, and grandparents live/lived) and much of the family had a sharing time. Some goodbyes were said before everyone rested for the afternoon.

That night we all went out to dinner, sitting at a very long table in a restaurant. Grandma's treat.

This summer we'll hopefully all reconvene on the river for another celebration of Grandma's life and a little family reunion. Stories will be told, dirty jokes she loved and would love, music, and a whole lot of warmth.

We never took a full photo of all of the cousins, but here's who was left on Sunday morning. Missing three cousins and a second cousin, my bro & sis and Marianne & Annie.

I'm so grateful for a very talented, funny, caring family. There's never a dull moment with this crew. 

A legacy of my grandma and grandpa. Never to be forgotten. 

Those blue Forget-Me-Nots have a totally new association for me now.

Bidding Farewell

Lois Grace Barlow and Shirley "Red" Augustus Barlow, Jim's paternal grandparents, both passed away within the last year. It was decided that they would have a combined memorial service for the two of them at a later date, ensuring that as much as the family could be there.

His grandparents lived in Duanesburg, New York and raised their children there, so we packed up and hit the road for New York! What a beautiful place.... surrounded by the Catskill Mountains, so lush and green.

We stayed with Abbey, Jim's cousin, and her husband, Mick, and four children. She lives in a beautiful old farmhouse, that they've completely renovated, right next to her father's dairy farm. Here's her chicken coop... they have MANY chickens, but I only caught a few in this picture. It certainly does not do it justice. When we left they sent us home with six dozen eggs!!!

Almost as soon as we pulled in, we had to go and see the cows!!

 Aunt Christine held a timid Ian, as he studied and met the baby calves. When he met the donkeys a few weeks before, he was fearless. He'd grab their nostrils and lips. This time was quite different. He'd carefully eye the calves and then, if too close, he would let out a huge, upset squeal and throw his body back into the person holding him.

 Until the cows don't need their mother's milk anymore, after the first few months, they stay in these little huts. Afterward, they move to a grassy field. As a breastfeeding mama, it was hard to see these babes separated from their moms.

 We had to get a picture of Ian under this sign... had to.

 Abbey & Mick have three cats and two of them have awesome haircuts to help with staying cool and the shedding of fur. There's a poof on the end of their tails and a mane around their heads. This is Bruce, the most social of their cats. What a character. Ian enjoyed crawling around after him...

 Thank you SOOOO much for having us, Abbey and Mick! It was wonderful to get to know you and the other family members up there just a little better. We look forward to spending more time with you all one day soon. Thank you for your warm hospitality!

The memorial service was held with the same church family where Jim's dad, John, and his siblings were raised. John officiated the service, which was part of his parents' wishes. It was a beautiful ceremony.

John, Dave, Marie, Rich, & Carol
(Youngest ---> Oldest)

Children & Significant others

And some of the grandchildren & families!

After the service we drove over to the internment, which was a beautiful drive about an hour away. 

As we walked up to where they'd be buried, Jim was hit with the smell of wild thyme. Smell has such a powerful way of bringing back memories and nostalgic feelings. According to Jim, wild thyme was a signature smell of Grammy & Grampy's yard. Apparently, it is native to that area. Uncle Dave told me that Grampy would allow wild thyme to go to seed before he'd mow the lawn, to encourage the spreading of the plant. He just loved wild thyme.

It's never easy to say goodbye to family members. Their home and warmth is missed. They are certainly missed. Hearing the stories and sharing old memories was a wonderful way to get to know them even better. I look forward to hearing more stories about them as Ian gets older and the family continues to share them with him. One day we'll all be together again.

Rest in peace, Grammy & Grampy. We love you.

Bridge Over Troubled Water

Last year an amazing family came into our lives. And when I say family, I mean a whole extended family of grandparents, children, and grandchildren. This family touches everyone in their path with kindness, generosity, friendship, encouragement, and many other blessings.

If you ask them, these compassionate qualities were instilled within them and modeled by their husband, father, and grandfather, Dennis Jaasma. A thermodynamics professor at Virginia Tech, Dennis made an impact on his students, friends, local mechanics, church youth in the nursery, those in Young Life, and on all others with whom he came into contact. He was also the world expert on wood stoves, I believe. Any case that needed an expert witness in this area called upon his expertise. He was a truly wonderful and inspirational man.

When I met him in September of last year, he deeply impacted me, as well. He was eight years into his journey with Alzheimers and was only 62 years old. Always smiling, laughing, and singing, Dennis was a true example of how our soul renews each day. I was fortunate to spend ten months by his side almost every day and he affected me for the better.

It's very hard for me to articulate his impact on me. I've been struggling to put words to my feelings for and time with Dennis and I think I've come to determine that it's just one of those un-speak-a-bles that can only be felt with the heart.

Tuesday, in the company of his wife, children, and grandchildren, Dennis went home. Our hearts ache for the life that ended too soon and for the disease that impacted those last years. Dennis leaves a beautiful legacy in his family and with those who came into contact with him during any of his sixty-two years. We can have HOPE that he is in heaven and now is reunited with his brother and parents.

Rest in peace, Dennis Roy Jaasma.
Blacksburg is missing one of its finest, kindest people.

And, his favorite song was "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel. One of my favorite songs.... great taste and quite appropriate.

When you're weary 
Feeling small 
When tears are in your eyes 
I will dry them all 

I'm on your side 
When times get rough 
And friends just can't be found 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down 

When you're down and out 
When you're on the street 
When evening falls so hard 
I will comfort you 

I'll take your part 
When darkness comes 
And pain is all around 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down 

Sail on Silver Girl, 
Sail on by 
Your time has come to shine 
All your dreams are on their way 

See how they shine 
If you need a friend 
I'm sailing right behind 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will ease your mind 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will ease your mind