Slow and Steady

First off, Happy Leap Day to you all! I just love that there's a day that only comes around every four years. How neat is that?

I wish I could say that I celebrated this special day, but it was actually a bit lousy. My sleep was very poor last night and I awoke to a phone call from HR telling me that my "return to work" form had too many restrictions and that I cannot return to work on Monday. So, needless to say, I've spent much of this day on the phone with HR and with my doctor's office. As of right now, a new set of forms sit and wait for my family doctor. He may be able to change some of the restrictions, but I'm not sure he'll be able to change all of them. There is something to be said for this long, slow recovery... there are some things I just cannot do.

One of the cards I've received. Slow and steady...

The toughest thing for me will be the months to come. I know this already. And while I do not wear a bandage like the turtle in this picture, it's going to be even harder because my pain and injury are not visible from the outside. I've never had an injury like this before.

And for the past two weeks I have been quietly and passively blaming myself for my condition. If I had just handled my stress better, or if I had just stood up for myself during a peak of stressful time, or if I had just exercised more, or if I had just let certain things go, then perhaps this wouldn't have happened to me. While I've said over and over that hindsight is hindsight, I haven't really let myself hand over this burden. I've kept it within and it was really wearing on me.

We can reach for explanations, but they can only go so far. We can research and plan and organize and consult, but at some point we have to realize that there are some things we cannot control. Because, believe me, I've done each of those things.

Wisdom came to me from our neighbor and friend on the Clarion River. She said, "I am sending my prayers for you and ask that you forgive yourself and your body for creating this mess...  Take care of yourself, be your own best friend, and when you forget to do this, forgive yourself and begin again!!!"

These words came almost as a blanket to comfort me and tuck me in during one of my lowest moments. It's okay to forgive myself and allow myself to forget, and then be reminded again. It's really alright. And in my response to her, I said that I will need to read these words many times over the next 6 months. Those 6 months have now been extended to 9 months, but with the likelihood of a full recovery.

And while I'm an introvert, I also just love being around people (Right, Krumichs?). Just when I started missing interactions with people, I got a card from Jim's parents saying, 'If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's this: whatever comes, you won't be alone. You'll have thoughts and prayers surrounding and protecting you every step of the way. So just picture yourself right there in the middle of a big circle of caring... because that's where you are. And there's no safer place to be.'

Between the doctors, my family, coworkers, and friends, I really do feel surrounded by warmth, peace, and friendship. The number of people reading my meager blog is amazing to me. Thanks for being with me every step of the way.

Last night was actually my worst night of sleep yet. My headache feels a bit lighter and my neck continues to ache. But the good news from the past two days still has my heart leaping for joy! Get it? LEAP-ing? Leap day... leaping... :)

Next Up:

- When will I return to work?

- Lab Work, Monday 3/5 @ 3:45

- GP Appt., Friday 3/9 @ 4

Thank you to Susan for dinner and dessert tonight!

Good, good news!

Well, two doctor's appointments later, I am feeling quite optimistic and happy!

Yesterday we met with the neurologist and he is expecting a full recovery for me! Woohoo! Never have those words been more beautiful. I put them in the same category as summer, dark chocolate, vacation, music, singing, outdoors, and adventure :)

Hiking up Mt. Aspiring in Alaska, 2011
Full recovery means I may do this again!?

He drew me a few pictures to really diagram what happened and what he expects to happen. He also changed my pain medications and muscle relaxers, in hopes that they will help and to take me off of one narcotic, which could lead to other problems. He guessed that we are out-of-the-woods, so to speak, as far as a stroke, with a 5% possibility of stroke. He says I'll need to stay on coumadin for 9 months, so that puts us to Novemeber, folks. It will be a very happy Thanksgiving, indeed. I'll go back to him in three months, but will communicate with him prior to then.

When we walked out of his office Jim immediately said, "He is a beast." Jim doesn't give out those compliments lightly. So, you can be that he really is :)

This morning I went to the family doctor, who Jim also thinks is incredible. Side note: Jim went to Honduras with my family doctor and his family last year. He got to see him in many different settings and is just so impressed with how he interacts with patients, other colleagues, medical students, and his own family. Jim basically wants to BE this doctor. And I think he's pretty great, too.

Okay, back to the update.... they checked my INR and it was 2.0!!!!! Yay! This means that I am barely within the range I should be in, but I'm there! And this also means that I don't need to prepare myself for horrible, painful shots of Lovenox every 12 hours! Good, good news.

He also checked my hemoglobin levels to make sure that I am not at risk for anemia and I'm not, yet. We'll continue checking those levels whenever I go in for a visit.

So, those are the wonderful updates. Yup, I'm thrilled. I still have a headache and neck pain, but hopefully the new medications will work their magic. It's still going to be a slow, low-key recovery, but there's an end in sight and a healthy, good prediction comes with it.

We filled out my paperwork for the school system today and he says I can return for full-day work starting on Monday (3/5). By then perhaps the pain will be "under control." The fact is that I may have to live with some for a while. I think I'll tiptoe into work and do some planning and some visiting and prep before then, but that's the deal.

Thank you for your continued support and love! It's time to go lie down now :)

It all started when...

News of this incident has spread and there are people who are reading my blog and wondering "How in the world did this happen?" and "How the heck did you know you had this condition?" And, in thinking back, I never did answer these questions on the blog. I just said, "long story short" and moved on to the diagnosis. Here I hope to answer those questions...


I was teaching (Feb 6th) and I felt a stabbing pain in my shoulder.  When I reached up, I felt a huge lump and then I felt it travel up my neck and into my head. It was then I lost my vision in both eyes, partially, for about 20-25 minutes. Silly, naive me thought, "I must be dehydrated." It was the end of the day, I was wearing a bulky, warm sweater and I just assumed that I had not had enough to drink that day (Heat stroke from my XC days was on my mind). I wasn't confused or disoriented, so I kept teaching through it. When my vision cleared 20-25 minutes later, it was the end of the day. 


I lay down in the nurse's office and a coworker drove me home. I had a headache from the moment it traveled into my head on. I took one sick day and then taught that whole week with a headache. The headache still didn't go away, so I went to the doctor one week after it started (Feb 13). They referred me for an MRI and MRA and to a neurologist. Insurance wouldn't cover me for the tests (As they were "not medically necessary"...still so absurd to recall!) and the neurologist called and asked me to come in 4 days early during his lunch break (Feb 15). Even with the neurologist's scripts sent to my insurance, they refused to accept that I needed an MRA and an MRI.


After much discussion and conversation, the neurologist told me he was either going to admit me to a hospital or we'd have to go through the ER. Since he thought the ER would be the cheapest route for me, he sent me directly there and that's where my blog picks up.


The suspicion as to how this happened has been traced back to treatment I have been receiving for TMJ. In these treatments I have had manipulations done to my neck. That is what the doctors are crediting as the "trauma" that occurred. I will not be receiving any more treatments like this for the rest of my life. Nor will I be allowed to have massages, etc. This is a very rare case and there is a very small percentage of people who are predisposed to this possibility.


We're grateful that this was caught when it was. There are a great many things which could have happened and didn't.


As always, we really appreciate your thoughts, prayers and well-wishes! Today, at 5 PM, we have an appointment with the neurologist credited with saving my life. I may just give him a BIG OL' HUG!!!! I'm told that he may do the same, but he seemed far too reserved and calm to do that :)

Found on Pinterest.com

Advice from a River

It took me a long time to even become willing to write a blog. My cousins kept trying to convince me to join the blogging world and I just kept saying, "What do I have to write about?" and "Why would anyone want to read it?"And I often still feel this way. But I decided to, at first, write it as just a journal for myself. I didn't share anything vastly personal, but I did try to document the small and big things that were going on in our lives. I think, and hope, that this is still what I do one year later.

But in the very beginning you have to decide on a name, and that, I found, was a lot of pressure. After deliberating for a while, I finally decided on RiverandShore because it's from one of my favorite songs and I feel most at home on a river. I know how to read the rapids and how to find the eddies, and I know the going can be slow, and that the outside of a curve will always be deeper, and there can be times when you have to get out and walk because it's just too shallow all of the way across. I've gained this knowledge from a lifetime of canoeing, kayaking, and swimming in different rivers.

Well, there's one river I know better than any other. It's the Clarion River in Pennsylvania. As a matter of fact, Jim's Aunt Sherri, a traveling ER nurse specializing in cardiac patients, told me that a great and calming technique is to imagine you are in a place you know very well. A place where you know the smells and the sounds, and you can feel the things around you. She said that I should try walking myself through a place like this and it can be quite relaxing and take your mind away from the pain. You can guess where I chose to take myself.... I went to the Clarion.

And, boy did it work!? It was incredible. I put myself on a bike and went for a ride down River Road. I biked and, all the while, looked at the road and the trees around me, and I waved at the neighbors at the familiar houses, and I nodded my head at each of the familiar boulders in the river, and the rapids, and the herons, kingfishers, and the bald eagle, since he was in his usual perch in the tall, dead tree.

I smelled the pines, and heard the eager canoers pass by, and at the end of the ride I even stopped and had an ice cream at the Pale Whale, before peddling back home. But I surprised myself by actually knowing each bend in the road and turn of the river. Never have I sat and actually taken myself on a prolonged journey in my memory. It's amazing what your mind can do and where it can take you, and how it can relax and comfort your body to do so.

My Aunt Beth sent me a shirt the day after I went to "visit" The Pinery and the Clarion River. This shirt could not be any better. She said, "I just saw that shirt and thought it was absolutely perfect for you...at any time, but especially right now." She's hit the nail on the head!

The shirt says "Advice from a River:"

Go with the flow           Immerse yourself in nature                     Slow down and meander

             Go around the obstacles                    Be thoughtful of those downstream

                                                                                                                                Stay current                   

The beauty is in the journey!

Yes, it's backwards... that's what happens when
you are lazy and use Photo Booth!

Health Update: Yesterday I took it very slow and Jim built a fire. We had our friend, Maria, over late in the afternoon and it was really nice. She's amazing and positive and the hours flew by. By the end of our visit my neck was quite painful, so I had to lie down for the evening. Today my neck and head are hurting. We went on a short walk on the Huckleberry Trail, which my body was grateful for. I felt my pace quicken a few times and had to remind myself to be an "old lady." I'll have to get used to everyone passing me for a while. It was nice to have a change of setting, though.

Timeline:

Monday- Neuro Appt. @ 5 PM

Tuesday- GP Appt. @ 9:30 AM

We'll see what they say about my progress and going back to work. Let's hope my INR is between 2-3.

Thank you to Randy and family for meatloaf tonight! :)

Now I lie here on the couch deciding what next to do. I hope to find a way to stream the Academy Awards online tonight. Let me know if you have any leads or tips :)

On My Way

This morning I was supposed to go wedding dress shopping with a dear friend and I'm not able to go. I'd been looking forward to this outing for a month. I'm there  in spirit, Adri! I cannot wait to see what you choose and I can imagine you giggling and laughing with joy as you try on the different dresses. So happy for you!

To pull myself up by my bootstraps, I decided to look up the song that had been paired with the video I received from my students yesterday. Do you know the song, "On My Way," by Phil Collins? I had never heard it before. If you'd like to listen click here. Disregard the Disney video, if you'd like and just listen to the lyrics.

Tell everybody i'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes i'm on my way
And theres no where else i'd rather be

St. John, Honeymoon, 2009

Tell everybody i'm on my way
And i'm loving every step i take
With the sun beating down, yes i'm on my way
And i can't keep this smile off my face

Longwood Gardens, PA- 2010

Cause theres nothing like, seeing each other again
No matter what the distance between
And the stories we tell, will make you smile
Or really lifts my heart


So tell'em i'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
And to sleep under the stars and could ask for more
With the moon keeping watch over me

Louisiana, 2009

Not the snow nor the rain, can change my mind
The sun will come out, wait and see
And the feeling of the wind 
In your face can lift your heart

Winter backpacking trip on AT, 2007

Oh... theres no where i'd rather be
Cause i'm on my way now 
Well and true
I'm my way there
I'm on my way now(x3)

River Road, Cook Forest- Date?

Tell everybody i'm on my way
I just can't wait to be there
With blue skies ahead, yes I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to share

Alaska Trip, 2011

So tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be home
With the sun beating down yes I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to show

Cascades, 2011

I'm on my way
Yes, I'm on my way 

We're on our way :)

I'm on my way... I'm not there yet, and it will take a while, but I'm on my way. Just a little more music therapy to pass the time. Now just imagine a video with students holding signs and reading poems while listening to the lyrics and you'll be imagining the video I received. Thank you, Janet!


Lyrics found on: http://www.lyrics007.com/Phil%20Collins%20Lyrics/On%20My%20Way%20Lyrics.html

Showered

I'm very much like my grandparents in that I absolutely love checking the mail. I can remember visits with them from throughout my childhood, when they would systematically find out when the mailman arrived. Yes, they lived in a house a fair distance from the road, but they always kept the view to the mailbox clear. They would carefully schedule and place items to be mailed out in the box with the flag up and then they would wait and check with their binoculars if the flag had been lowered. If it had, we'd go on a walk to get the mail and then, sometimes, meander back to the house on one of their trails.

I have this same excitement about checking the mail, even if it is just bills and catalogs. Well, Jim didn't check the mail yesterday and I was a little bummed. Normally I pick him up from work and I, without fail, stop to get the mail. Jim's got some different genes, that's for sure; mail isn't a big priority for him. So, no mail yesterday.

Well, today I decided to venture out of the house on a short walk with my hubby. Where did I decide to go? You guessed it, the mailbox! And you all certainly did not let me down...

And a visit from Wanda brought more. Janet, the business teacher at school, put together a beautiful flip-video of my 6th graders, which I wish I could share on here. Watching my students brought tears of joy and warmed my heart. Such a thoughtful gift!

Thank you to Kiah for dinner tonight! Yum!

We've got so much to be thankful for. As the rain sprinkled outside, I felt showered in love on the inside.

_______________________________________________________________________

Health update: not much to say! I might be imagining it, but I think that the headache was lighter today. The walk felt good, but I may have pushed too hard, as the headache is going strong now. A reminder to take it slow...

Jim had a free clinic practical experience today and, once again, he came home beaming. It's so great to see his hard work paying off in these Friday experiences. He's going to be such a great doctor!

Oh, and both of the girls I was conditioning for soccer try-outs made the team today!!! I'm thrilled for them :)

Wise Words...

... from a wise cousin-in-law in Berlin. Love you, Georg!

"So maybe - besides the pain and the danger you were (hopefully not: are) in - being sick's a possibility to calm down, look back and forth and see what you've already reached in life and by how much beauty you're sourrounded."

It has been a chance to stop and reflect. In twenty-five years I've gotten to do a WHOLE lot, try MANY different things, and go LOTS of different places. Thank you to Mom and Dad for making much of that possible and to teachers, professors, colleagues, and principals for pushing me to reach even farther than I thought I could. Thank you to Jim for having the same adventurous spirit and for working so hard right now to prepare for our future. This has been a time of contemplation and many emotions have reared, but I always come back to being thankful for where I am, who's prodded and pushed me along the way, and who I'm with. 

Jim says that this week is the first time since he's known me that I have actually relaxed and rested. Perhaps Georg's right... this is a season for reflection and a chance to observe the beauty around me.

A Sunny, Warm, February (?) Day

As I type, every window, that isn't insulated with plastic wrap, and door is open in our cottage. The dogs are free to go on the porch or come in as they please and that's my kind of a day! But didn't we just have snow four days ago? And why am I wearing a tank top with a scarf in February? Sheesh.

So, you're probably waiting for me to give a health update... enough about the weather, eh?

Last night, right after I took ALL of my medicines and vitamins that I take in the evening, and had prepped for bed, I started to feel some chest pains on my left side. In the beginning they came and went with my deep breaths, but then they stayed. I called my doctor's office and spoke to the doctor on call and she recommended that, given my condition, we head straight to the ER. You can imagine how thrilled we were to go through this again.

We went and they ran an EKG, some blood tests, and did a CT scan of my chest. They did the CT scan to rule out the possibility that another blood clot was causing my chest pain. Fortunately, nothing was found and so at 3:30 AM we finally headed home! And my INR went up to 1.3. Chugging along...

Today I still went to my appointment and my doctor checked my INR again. Now it's at a 1.5... we're eeking slowly toward the 2-3 point goal. He upped my coumadin dose to 12 mg each day, compared to 10 mg. I'll go back to him on Tuesday for another visit and during that time we'll discuss going back to work. I also have my appointment with Dr. Marrufo (neurologist) on Monday at 5 PM, so after both of those appointments we'll know more. I, at least, won't be back at school until Wednesday.

I'm still very grateful to the faculty at school for their support! They've been incredible.

Back to the weather.... when Jim got home from yet another make-up test we went on a short walk outside and in the woods. It was really nice to get out of the house on this gorgeous day. While still very present, I might even venture to say that my headache eased up a bit today. But perhaps that's my positive, sunny day thinking :)

But I'm wiped from the busy night and day. It's time for a nap.



P.S. Scroll down to see the cute llama font message I got earlier today!

Llama Love

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Isn't this just too neat? I think it's the bees knees... errr, the llama's p'jamas?

This is from my sweet sister, Phoebe.











































www.llamafont.com

Modes of Support

Today I wrote about how much I love communicating with those from throughout my life in many different ways over the last few days. Well, this evening Vicki came from school with a WHOLE BUNCH of mail from my students...

Their letters wish me to get well soon, and tell me they miss me, and that it's really not the same without me there. There aren't too many jobs where you can receive 80+ letters in one day and I'm thankful for my students for taking the time to drop me a line. Thank you to the teachers who facilitated the writing of these cards, too! I'll be back before they know it.

In the left corner of the picture you will see a black, U-shaped neck pillow. Thanks to Dave G. for sending two with Vicki tonight! I'll get better sleep and relax more completely with this accessory. I heard more people at school brought pillows in, as well. Thanks for your support!

Again, I spent the day lying on a mat on my back listening to Pandora. It's the most comfortable thing for me to do. My neck was quite painful today, as well as my back and, of course, my headache. Leif, our pup, enjoys cuddling with me when I'm lying on the floor. He's been quite calm these days, when he would normally be begging for a walk or a hike. He must know...

I had two visitors today: Jessica (a teacher friend and wife of a 4th year at VCOM) and Vicki (Gifted Resource Teacher). It was nice to have some social interaction today! I'm so grateful to you both for stopping by.

Thank you to Vicki for dinner tonight! We have enough leftovers for tomorrow's dinner, as well. We're going to need that recipe!

At 9 AM tomorrow morning I have my next doctor's appointment. Hopefully the coumadin has kicked in and the shots can stop- a girl can dream, right?

One week ago we were still waiting to be checked into our hospital room... crazy. There are so many ways that we've seen, heard, and felt your support over the last week and we are truly overwhelmed and humbled by it all. We sincerely thank you. Good night, everyone!

It's a Beautiful Dawn

This morning I had the best surprise/pick-me-up! Go check-out my cousin Marianne's blog and her adorable child, Annaliese. They live in Alaska, but their love travels the miles. I just love you guys! Go here ----> Kasch Blog

I really cannot convey just how much I appreciate your correspondence through the many modes of communication. People from my past have come out of the woodwork and I continue to feel the love and support of my dear family, close friends, and everyone at Shawsville Middle School and VCOM.

I love snail mail <3

Jim's been blessed to have so many passionate and supportive people at his school. Today he has two tests and one of them is his make-up test from when we were in the hospital. Yesterday he had a practical that he said went really well. He's pretty incredible, huh?

My school and coworkers have been truly understanding and compassionate. The special ed. teacher I work with and the gifted resource teacher have been amazing.  They check in with me and have taken over my lesson plans, so that we don't get behind. I couldn't be more fortunate to have them working with me. Their already-full plates have just added a second and third helping and they still ask for more. Thank you, Vicki and Wanda!

I continue to have a headache, soreness in my neck, and feel a bit down today, but the music is surely helping! My latest favorite is Beautiful Dawn by The Wailin' Jennys (Predictable, eh?).  The lyrics cut straight to my core today. Have a listen and take some time to relax.

Mardi Gras

Two years ago today we followed this bunch as they begged for ingredients for their Fat Tuesday gumbo!

We also went to New Orleans and met-up with Davis, a good friend from HSC who was/is studying medicine at Tulane. Davis challenged us to a bead-collecting competition at one of the parades:

After we got back to his apartment, we counted up the loot and I was the winner. I believe there were 120 strings of beads around my neck! Come to think of it, perhaps that day was the root of my neck issues... just kidding!

Today's nothing like the day we had two years ago. First off, we don't get a week of vacation to celebrate! I wouldn't be missing any school, if that was the case. And secondly, I'm not wearing any beads. Mind you, I have MANY in a bag in the back of my closet, which I would have worn if I went to school today.

I have kept very positive about this whole situation, but I must admit I broke down a bit last night. I decided to finally just lie in bed and listen to music on Pandora in order to fall asleep. Music is definitely my best medicine. But when "Blackbird" came on, I broke down into tears. It has such a deep meaning for my family and some tough times we've been through. I think I just needed a good cry. The shock of the situation wore away and I felt the pangs of reality.

The pain medicine I took before bed must have really kicked in because I slept better than I have for a while and I actually slept in a bit. I took another one this morning and felt very drowsy, as they said I would. The doctor gave me a note to stay home from school until Monday (2/27).

So on this Shrove Tuesday I will indulge in music, since it's been something I've been neglecting. But I won't be giving it up- it's therapy. 

A visitor is coming by this afternoon and I'm looking forward to that. The dogs have been good company, but I do miss people!

Grateful :)

Sorry for the mass, impersonal information!

Good evening!

I went to the doctor today and it was very informative. They checked my INR (International Normalized Ratio) and it was still at a 1.1 (it should be between 2 and 3). This means that my blood still is not thin enough. I am still being given the lovenox shots (by Jim) and, while very painful, those are preventing any clotting from occurring. They don't want me to be on this forever, so I will be on the shots until the coumadin kicks in. They've doubled my dosage and I have another appointment scheduled for Thursday morning to check my INR.

I've also been given a new pain medicine and muscle relaxers to help with the headache and the pain and tension in my neck (this is new as of today). The headache may take a long time to go away, if it does. I was told that for 6 months I should think like an old lady. If an old lady wouldn't do it, then I shouldn't because it is a serious neck injury. Tough pill to swallow as an otherwise healthy 25 year old. I may even need a bracelet or pendant showing that I have this condition, in case something happens.

Today I learned just how fortunate I really am that nothing more serious happened. I'm grateful to Dr. Reynolds and Dr. Blackwell for referring me to the neurologist, Dr. Marrufo. I'm REALLY grateful to Dr. Marrufo for taking me four days early during his lunch break, fighting for me, and getting me into the ER and covered by insurance. Dr. Reynolds salutes him for saving my life.

I have another appointment with Dr. Marrufo on Monday, 2/27.

That's the latest! Thank you for your continued support, thoughts, and prayers! Big thank you to Wanda and Gary Riddle for our dinner and desert tonight! The dogs loved your attention, too!

Love,

Käthe (& Jim, Leif, and Fin)

We love our winter wonderland, too.

Valentine's Day Catch-Up

This year Jim surprised me by asking if I'd like to go out to dinner for Valentine's Day. He called and made reservations and we went and had a DELICIOUS three-course meal at Bull & Bones in Blacksburg. That night he also surprised me by getting me some beautiful, Valentine's-Day-colored and Mountain Hardware leggings!!!

Little did we know that I'd only be able to wear them for one night before we checked into the hospital. Now that I'm HOME, these leggings proved to be the perfect gift. Warm and cozy and pinkish-purple... I love them! 

Know what else I love? SNOW! And it's snowing harder and harder outside. It's even started to stick! 

And they are calling for more than a few inches... Hooray! I'm sorry for my loving custodians at school who tell me that snow is one of the worst four letter words, but I am celebrating the fact that it is coming down and actually sticking around.

I'll consider the snow another Valentine's Day gift!

I hope you're warm and cozy today, too.

Health update: The most frustrating thing about this whole deal is that I haven't felt better at all. My headache remains just has bad as it was when this all began. Even the pain medicines don't help. At least we know why I have it, though. Jim's giving me my lovenax (sp?) shots every 12 hours, and I'm taking coumadin every day. They say that I'll probably be on the coumadin for six months so that the clots will dissolve and hopefully my artery will repair or compensate with thinner blood-flow. 

So, I'll have to get another MRI and MRA later to see the status and progress of my recovery. The neurologist and family physician will check in with me though out this time. Later we'll know just how much this will effect my life. Hopefully there will be a full recovery! The stats say that 75% of people recover just fine. That's all we know, folks :)